Do you find yourself staring in the mirror and thinking “WTF happened to me?”

You wake up one morning and realize you don’t recognize the person looking back at you. Not just the gray roots or the lines around your eyes (though seriously, when did those show up?), but the actual YOU. The woman who used to have dreams, passions, and a clear sense of who she was seems to have vanished somewhere between soccer practices, work deadlines, and keeping everyone else’s life together. If you feel like you lost yourself somewhere along the way, feel like you are living a life of loneliness, and wondering where the hell your old self went, you’re experiencing something totally normal. This is one of the most common—and least discussed—challenges for middle age women: a midlife crisis.

When You Wake Up a Stranger to Yourself

Somewhere between climbing the career ladder, searching for a life partner, raising kids, and keeping everyone else’s world spinning, you disappeared. Not physically—you’re still here, making lunches and crushing deadlines—but the essence of who you are got buried under layers of responsibility and routine.

You used to have strong opinions about everything from music to weekend plans. Now you can’t even decide what you want for dinner without consulting everyone else’s preferences first. Standing in Target, staring at fifteen different types of face wash, you realize you don’t even know what you like anymore.

This is about looking at your life and thinking, “How did I get here? And more importantly—how the hell do you figure it out again? How do you get back to your true self?

Where Did Your Dreams Go? They’re Still There!

Remember when you had that burning desire to travel the world, write a novel, or start your own business? What happened to that fire? Did it just… disappear?

The uncomfortable truth is that your dreams didn’t die, they got buried under years of putting everyone else’s needs first. Every time you said, “maybe next year” to that trip, “when I have more savings” to that career change, or “it’s not practical” to that creative project you’ve always wanted to do, you were slowly suffocating the parts of yourself that made you feel alive.

The worst part? Society told you this was noble. That good mothers, wives, and daughters sacrifice their dreams for others. What a load of BS!

Your dreams aren’t selfish—they’re essential to who you are.

A Life of Loneliness

There’s a particular kind of loneliness that comes with feeling like a stranger in your own life. You can be surrounded by family, friends, and colleagues, yet feel completely alone because you don’t even know who you are anymore.

This loneliness isn’t about needing more people in your life—it’s about needing to reconnect with the person you used to be. The woman who had opinions, preferences, and dreams that were entirely her own.

You might find yourself:

• Wondering if this is all there is to life
• Feeling empty even when you’re “successful” by everyone else’s standards
• Going through the motions of daily life without any real joy or excitement
• Feeling guilty for wanting more when you “should” be grateful for what you have

The Passion Drought: When Nothing Sparks Joy

“I don’t know what I’m passionate about anymore.” If I had a dollar for every time a client said this to me, I could retire to that beach house I’ve been dreaming about.

Here’s what’s really happening: you haven’t lost your passion—you’ve lost touch with it. After years of focusing on everyone else’s needs, interests, and schedules, you’ve forgotten how to tune into your own desires.

It’s like your internal compass got demagnetized from years of pointing toward everyone else’s true north instead of your own.

The Hormone Plot Twist

Before we dive into solutions, can we talk about the elephant in the room? Perimenopause and hormone changes can make this identity crisis feel ten times worse.

When your hormones are doing the cha-cha, everything feels more intense, more confusing, and more overwhelming. You might be dealing with:

• Brain fog that makes you question your own competence
• Mood swings that leave you feeling like you’re losing your mind
• Fatigue that makes pursuing passions feel impossible
• Sleep disruption that affects your ability to think clearly about your life

If you’re in your mid 30s, 40s, or 50s and feeling completely lost, get your hormones checked. (Yes, you can go into perimenopause in your 30s!) Sometimes finding yourself again starts with addressing what’s happening in your body.

How to Find Your Way Back to You

Ready to reclaim your identity? Here’s your roadmap back to yourself:

1. Start with Archaeological Digging Go back to who you were before you became who everyone needed you to be. What did you love at 20? What made you feel alive at 25? What dreams did you have at 30?

Write it all down. Don’t judge it, just excavate it.

2. Notice What You Notice Pay attention to what catches your eye, what makes you pause, what sparks even the tiniest bit of interest. That magazine article about sustainable farming? The podcast about women starting businesses after 40? The art class advertisement at the coffee shop?

Your subconscious is trying to tell you something.

3. Say No to Find Your Yes You can’t discover who you are if you’re still saying yes to everything everyone else wants from you. Start saying no to the things that drain you so you can say yes to the things that might energize you.

4. Experiment Like a Scientist Try things. Lots of things. Take that pottery class. Join that hiking group. Sign up for that online course. You’re not committing to anything forever—you’re just gathering data about what makes you feel alive.

5. Get Professional Support Sometimes you need someone trained to help you untangle the mess of responsibilities, expectations, and old patterns that have buried your true self. There’s no shame in getting help to find your way back to you.

The Revolutionary Act of Self-Discovery

Here’s what nobody tells you about finding yourself in midlife:

IT’S NOT ABOUT GOING BACK TO WHO YOU WERE—IT’S ABOUT BECOMING WHO YOU’RE MEANT TO BE NOW.

You’re not trying to resurrect your 25-year-old self (thank God, because she probably made some questionable choices). You’re integrating all the wisdom, experience, and growth you’ve gained into a version of yourself that feels authentic and alive.

This isn’t a midlife crisis—it’s a midlife awakening. The difference? A crisis assumes something is wrong. An awakening recognizes that something is finally ready to emerge.

Your Next Chapter Starts Now

You deserve to know who you are beyond your roles and responsibilities. You deserve to have dreams, passions, and desires that are entirely your own. You deserve to feel excited about your life instead of just surviving it.

The woman you used to be is still in there, but she’s evolved. She’s wiser, stronger, and ready to create a life that actually fits who she’s become.

Don’t wait for permission to remember who you are.

Feeling lost and ready to find your way back to yourself? I get it, and I’m here to help. Book a free consultation and let’s talk about how to reconnect with the badass woman you’ve always been!

Book your free consultation: https://theotriplistherapy.com/contact